You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We got so high we made milksteak
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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