yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
