I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
