I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
