I skipped work to stalk him.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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