Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
