Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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