woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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