bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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