my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
