Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
