I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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