I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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