It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize