too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
