She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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