he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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