what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
