im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
