wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
