STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize