god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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