Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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