I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
