I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
