ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
