I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Say something about gay babies.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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