I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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