We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
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You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize