you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
