I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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