I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
