just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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