She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
