Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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