I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
