You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
