dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just tell him i said nine months
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
