Your face is a jimmy john
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They took my balls.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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