I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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