Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
be right there i have to get my cape
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
