okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
