a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
