Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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