something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
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If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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