best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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