even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
