I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
