Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
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You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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