lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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