your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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