office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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