we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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