Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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