i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Randomize