i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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