I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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