Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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