one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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