I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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