We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
