Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
