wat bout pragnant strippers??
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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