Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
