so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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